i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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