just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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