people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
