My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
