and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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