When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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