so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
