Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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