dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
