I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
