I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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