Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
