my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
