i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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