I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
