I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
