Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
