That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
