i just had sex bonerless
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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