In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
