Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
