My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
