someone threw a dead crab at me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your cock deserves a montage
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
