road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
