Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
