I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am naked and annoyed.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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