Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
