no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
