It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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