You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
