So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
