Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
