very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize