i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
