Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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