Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
