There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
