Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
