my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
