hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
