Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
