I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
