8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He shit in the fireplace
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
