so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
