I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
