Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
