HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
