Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
