Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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