the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
