i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
