Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
