member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
