they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
