woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
