You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
