It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
