i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
