I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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